Steel Rainbow: The Legendary Underground Guide to Becoming an ’80s Rock Star

Looking back at '80s Hair Metal, one thing is apparent--every band looked and sounded exactly the same. According to legend, this is because of a secret text written by an anonymous record label in 1984 that promised fame and fortune to anyone who followed it word-for-word. As the music scene started to change in the '90s, this text faded into obscurity, never to be read and followed again...until now. Here, in all its glory, is a replica of that original text, painstakingly rewritten word-by-word for today's retro music hopefuls to follow. The text, which covers everything from how to write music to how to dress, includes the following illustrated tips: On How to Look: Be sure to showcase your chest 75 percent of the time.On How to Write Music: Us exc ssiv mla ts in s ng titl s.Write a song for all the ladies out there, and declare it in the intro.On How to Play: Multiply the number of amps you need by six.

Jordan Hart is the founder of 10PercentNerd.com, a central online community for partial nerds everywhere with interests in pop culture, video games, music and movies, comic books, humor, and retro awesomeness. He has a regular gig as the ＂nerd world contributor＂ on The Kramp & Alder Morning Show on Milwaukee’s number one alternative rock music station. Follow him on Twitter: @Jordan_Hart / #Steel Rainbow